Five Things You Can Do Instead Of Punishing Your Child

Punishment is far from the best way to raise your child. There are many other things you can do that are more effective. We get into five things you can do instead of punishing your child.

Many psychologists agree that shouting or hitting only works in the short term. These forms of punishment do not help the child and do not provide better behavior, and they can even directly affect their emotional health. It is better to do other things to bring up your child.

Do you remember how you felt every time your mom or dad yelled at you for not cleaning up your toys? Or the times you cried because you were physically punished? This is exactly how your child feels when you punish them by using verbal or physical violence.

Even if you intend to change your child’s behavior, this type of punishment will only make them feel humiliated. With this strategy, they are not learning the good behaviors you would like to teach them. They will only do things to try to avoid being punished, and they will see violence as a means of solving problems.

What can you do instead of punishing your child?

It is far more effective to talk calmly together instead of punishing your child. It helps to correct inappropriate behavior in children. But sometimes it’s not enough. You should also consider educational alternatives, along with positive encouragement, so that the child is able to understand why their behavior is wrong so that they can change it.

Some people suggest other forms of punishment, such as removal of their privileges. However, these punishments convey the same messages as corporal punishment.

Positively oriented discipline is more beneficial to the relationship between parents and children as long as it is based on love and mutual respect. That does not mean you should give in to your child’s whims, but it’s also about not being overly authoritarian. It’s about putting your foot down while considering your children’s feelings and needs as well as yours as a parent.

1. Talk to your child about the problem

Many parents find it difficult to talk to their children without the conversation ending in an argument. This usually happens when the child needs help but refuses to talk to their parents.

Instead of punishing your child, try to listen. Let them express themselves. Do not take over the conversation by telling them that you know how they feel. Many conversations end in a discussion because parents take over before they have to, thus making the child feel that they have not been given the expression they want.

Even though you know what can happen in your child’s mind, express curiosity about what they share with you. This way, they will feel safe and ready to talk to you about what is happening. When they open up to you, you will both be able to find a solution to the problem together.

2. Explain the consequences of their actions

Words make a difference. Telling your child things like, “If you do, I will make you regret it” will only make them fear you, not respect you. It does not teach them what behaviors they need to change.

Talk to your child. Make them understand that their actions have consequences. Make them understand that these consequences can affect people around them.

You need to be ready in the broker and direct. But you should also be careful with your child. Do not forget to tell your child when they are behaving correctly so that they know what is the right way to behave. Reward them with family time to play together.

Give them duties at home

If your child is behaving irresponsibly, why not give it some homework? Explain to the child why it is important to help and take responsibility. Show them how much of a difference it makes to the whole family. This way you avoid punishing your child.

4. Teach them to say sorry

You have certainly forced your child to say “Sorry” when they are not behaving properly, but have you thought about the true power of those words? Immediate apologies are sometimes not the best way to act.

Your child needs to reflect on their behavior and the problem first. Give them time to think about their actions and how these may affect the feelings of others. When your child is calm, talk to them about what happened and ask them to think of other people that they may hurt with their actions.

When your child reflects on the situation you will see that they will apologize on their own. The best part of it all is that it gets a lot more honest than an instant apology.

5. Give them options so they can choose for themselves what to do

Choose several alternatives to punishment depending on what they have done. Let them reflect and decide which option they like best. Choices can range from limiting their access to electronic devices to making multiple household gifts.

When punishing your child, they will feel frustrated with you and may come to feel angry with you. But if you explain the consequences of their actions, they will be able to understand what is the best way to learn their lesson.

Conclusion

Punishment has negative consequences that every parent should avoid. Punishing your child is not effective and it can give the child problems with violent behavior later in life.

It has no effect to beat them, give them house arrest, or take their computer from them.

You risk instead letting their anger spill over to others when they feel frustrated.

It also makes your child feel guilty. In that regard, some parents usually just cancel the punishment when the child starts crying. When that happens, they do not allow the child to reflect on what they did wrong, and instead they just teach the child to fear punishment.